Last time Johnny Manziel went missing he was found partying in Vegas when he was supposed to be working with the Cleveland Browns. This past weekend Johnny Football went missing and he was found partying his ass off in New York City when he was supposed to be with friends and family for an event in The Hamptons. Everyone is assuming that the former Heisman winner is just an addict whose professional life is falling apart as a nation watches in disappointment. I am not so quick to judge or come to these conclusions. I have witnessed too many oddities in the case of Johnny Football to accept these assumptions as the truth. At least not yet.
Sources close to Johnny Manziel have “claimed” they were in contact with Manziel while he was missing, but can Johnny Manziel himself account for the time between when he was last seen by someone of this world and when he found himself partying with some broskis who marked out and put him on their Instagram page? Was Johnny too stoned-drunk-bombed out-high as a kite-lumpy to answer this question? Is he not publicly explaining his whereabouts during this lost time because he is embarrassed or because he honestly cannot recall where he was? Knowing what I know about alien abductions and dark forces, I will not rule out that Johnny Football may actually not be a burn out loser, but rather a victim of a sinister plot.
The easy (lazy) way to explain this poor young man’s epic fall from grace is to say he is just another victim of the party scene. Even our Heisman Heroes can be done in by the PHAT beats, hot chicks, and fist pumping lifestyle. Sure this CAN happen, but did it in this case? Or was Johnny Manziel set up? My theory (which has yet to be disproven) is that Johnny Football was abducted by either aliens or dark government forces who had an agenda; an agenda that requires Johnny Football to never live up to his NFL potential. Maybe aliens, knowing Johnny Football was the premiere American collegiate athlete, sought to experiment on the young man. Maybe he was an unlucky random victim of just another UFO. Or maybe these aliens were Ravens fans seeking to keep the Browns at bay!
Speaking of the Ravens, we know that Baltimore is not far from the Pentagon which protects and houses some of the world’s biggest secrets. I am sure a lot of folks who work in that building root for the Ravens and were scared to death that Johnny Football’s emergence could mean the demise of the Baltimorons and a changing of the guard when it comes to who rules the cellar of the AFC North. While it is difficult for me to prove this 100%, we do know that the Ravens have been exposed in the past for using devious tactics and back channels to get a leg up on the competition (they just aren’t good at getting away with it like New England).
When it is all said and done, unfortunately, we will probably be talking about Johnny Manziel as an all-time American tragedy. He is one of the biggest wastes of talent and potential we have ever seen in pro sports. But do not be so quick to say this was all of his own fault. When there are Ravens fans walking this Earth, UFOs in the sky, and dark forces controlling all of our lives; don’t assume that this young man is just an entitled bratty Millenial who needs to grow up. Maybe someone just won’t let him.